Either I'm a Walton, or Bubbles

Yesterday, on the way to the gym, my wife and I came across two sick kittens sitting by the side of the road. Their eyes were all infected and gross and they were really wiped out and exhausted. On our way home, my wife demanded that I "lescue" them. Here is what they looked like.















Pretty gross, eh? Anyway, we chucked into a box and I went off with my wife to the station to visit the pet store to get them somekind of medicine or something. We got shampoo, food and some medicine for them. I washed them and dried them. One of them went and shit all over the towel I was drying it on (Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a NEW guests only towel). I gave them some water and some food and they looked a lot better. Today they look like this.















I am not a cat person at all, but I am glad I saved Steve French and Sgt.Meowmenstein. So which one am I?

My favourite quotes

Some gut named Mitch, or White Castle, or something, has tagged me asking for my favourite quotes. Don't expect them to be verbatim or anything.

"When you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time." - Jimmy the Greek, a Sports analyst from the Simpsons.

"A Wizard is neither late nor early, Frodo Baggins. He arrives exactly when he wants to." - Gandalf the Grey, Wizard and Super Powerful Uber Hippy

"Dude, Are you fucking this up?!" - Walter Sobchek

"I'm gonna take a flamethrower to this place!!!" - My main man in Okusawa town after 2 beers.

"I'll call you back, kay, muddy?" - my ex-boss, affectionally known as "Slippery"

"Totally suck, you do" - Yoda to Luke Skywalker on Dagobagh.

"Read my lips 'No New Taxes'" - El Presidente George Bush.

"Brown wings, dude. I'm talking about brown wings!" - My main man in Okusawa town after 3 beers.

"Ho-Ho-Hold the payments" - the Christmas Leon's Furniture commercial.

"He shoots! He scores!" - Bob Cole and/or Harry Neal, the Leafs announcers.

"What's taters, precious?" - Gollum.

"Did you pee on your pants?" - my wife.

"I'm driving" - me, after about 7 pints.

"Them visor wearin' fairies from Sweden" - Don Cherry

"Ricky, you're not going to smoke that nasty old foot hash, are ya?" - Bubbles

"Whaddaya talkin' about, Bubs. It's awesome." - Ricky

"Fortune favours the brave" - Titus Livy

"So, how many extra chromosomes do you need to get into your Alma Mater?" - me

I'm going to Tag Cool Metal Mike Toronto Cool.

Super Channel Sucks and I Hate Crows

This is going to be a short one.

With the temperature seeming to hover in the low 50s ALL THE FUCKING TIME, one's nerves and patience for things can wane. Especially for Crows. Crows suck bigtime cock. The fact that I wake up everyday at 5:30 am because it is so hot and the Sun is lined up with my bedroom like it is the solstice every morning is augmented by the 10,000 or so crows that are within earshot of my house. Their crowing is almost like a broken record that is constantly being played. But it isn't the rodeo song or even an early KISS album it's "khaah, khaah, khaah, khaah". I am planning on buying a BB gun to blast them out of the trees around my place. God gave me dominion over the Earth. It's in the bible near the part where it says "a deal is a deal". Now, my only dilemma is whether I should get the AK-47 or the classic MP-40. One thing is for sure those khaah, khaah, khaah, khaahksuckers days are numbered.

Seeing as I am up everyday with the Sun and 10,000 crows there isn't much to do. Well, except for taking a piss, making coffee and watching TV. I'm up but not exactly awake, if you follow me. Which gets me to Super Channel. Super Channel is one of two English channels I get that don't sensationalise the news. Anyway, either Super Channel is in desperate financial straits or it's programming director is a first class idiot. The shows on Super Channel generally suck (ER, Columbo) but there are the odd good ones (Star Trek, Monk) and 1/2 decent movies (I watched the Princess Bride yesterday). Every morning without fail at 7 am I am subjected to Captain Scarlet. I can handle one episode a week, but everyday!!! Now if you're a fan of the show, remember you probably liked it when you were a kid, and kids are generally stupid. I'm not holding it against you. I used to really dig CHiPs when I was a kid, but it is totally unwatchable now. (No wonder my Dad always had Rye and water when we watched TV together when I was a kid all the shows I loved were totally lame) Captain Scarlet is unwatchable, especially everyday. Then after Captain Scarlet there is the mandatory 17 hours of ER. If I paid for Super Channel, I'd be really pissed off.

Dude calling Tokyo. Come in Tokyo, over.

Yesterday, I had to go to Shibuya for a meeting of sorts. I brought my phone and used its digital camera to document my adventure. Everything was going well enough until I left the house. It went downhill from there. Bikes, glacially slow old people, children with no depth perception nor spacial awareness, crowded trains, retards, cripples, foreigners, hot weather, ad et cetrum. Needless to say, the dude was losing his cool. It went from Zeppelin's Misty Mountain Hop to this:

scanning the scene

in the city tonight
looking for you

to start up a fight

There is an evil feeling

in our brains

But it is nothing new

you know it drives...hey check this out

Someone actually built a shrine to Trudeau. Unbelievable! What's next? Hitler's Jeans?

Oh, I get it. The "Master Lace". Whatever floats your boat, buddy.

I guess booze floats this guys boat. 10:35 am on a Wednesday no less. If I were him, I'd drink too.

Run to the Hills

Run for your life...

Well, the fellas went to see Maiden at the Molson Amp just the other day. I was sent this image of a buddy of mine rocking out hardcore. They only played tunes from the first 4 albums, a lot of stuff they never played live. In contrast, check out how I get my kicks...

Note the king can. Note the location. Note that it was 5:40 pm.

Where eagles dare, mate. Where eagles dare.