Saturday, May 13, 2006

The Great Fry-Pan Fire of '06

Well, I'm back in the socialistic big brother arms of Canuckistan. In fact, I'm waving my little red book right.....now!

Things have been a bit topsy turvy since I came back and as such I haven't really had time to put my pea-brained thoughts into blog form. This old PC I'm using is reminiscent of the new computers U of T got back in 1994. At least the monitor is VGA. I'm looking for work and have sent out a bunch of applications and online bullshit stuff. Unfortunately, the only email I get is from the viagra peddlers and Rolex watch replica mongers. Maybe I should lose 25lbs in 30 days and just see what all these LoNeLy HoUsEwIVEs are up to. Well, if they are anything like the land walruses around here that drive SUVs, take up two spots over at Tim's and have kids that are constantly screaming "Mom, Can I have..." no wonder they're lonely. Also, I'm alone as my wife's father is in hospital back in Japan dying of lung mold. My wife wasn't here one-week and we had to use her one year round-trip ticket so she could go back and be there when he transcends into the fourth dimension, sans Tardis, and go to the funeral. So her immigration stuff is on hiatus. But I did manage to get her on healthcare.

OK, hot shot, Pop Quiz. When the fuck did everyone get so fucking fat? I have always been big-boned, or husky, or whatever euphenism you want to use for fat. I've been bigger than your average human since the age of 8. Now, I'm the fittest guy on the whole fucking street and I'm only 20KG overweight. I have seen some fat people around here who should be in the circus. And fat kids?! I was THE fat kid at elementary, the runner-up fat kid in Jr. High, and the fat kid in high school. Now, I can't walk 20 feet from the house, or spend 1 minute in public without seeing some short beachball with flippers (Jewett used to call me that). I'm thinking about running for office and my slogan will be "Fat Kids need Smokes!"

Hockey was a big part of my life for the first two weeks I was here. C-Town went Ape shit for two weeks. But, the Flames got knocked out and the beer and wings down at the pub just didn't seem the same anymore. The slutty chicks in cut off Flames T-shirts stopped showing up at the pub and it was just the regular bar-flies. So. now I cheer for the Butt-full-o Gay-bres until they had the Sens their golf clubs on home ice. It's gonna be sweet. Montreal got knocked out early, which had me smiling for about a day. Hopefully, Edmonchuck will pull the thumb out of their asses and beat the Sharks. Anyway you slice it, it is about 1,000,000 times better than anything that was on TV in Japan.

That is what has been going on. I haven't hd a lot of time to check out other blogs and stuff. Although I do go over to Metal's just to make sure he hasn't deleted it yet.

Up the Irons!