Weekend Forecast: Rain

I've got a couple days off here hiding inside the domicile while it rains outside. I might've mentioned this before, but I've noticed that over 66% of my time off since the beginning of the year has been shadowed by shit weather. A very strange phenomenon indeed.

Not much is actually happening, but I knew I hadn't updated anything in a while, and after reading Metal's Metal Bar adventure, which read like the beginning of a penthouse letter, I thought maybe I'd write something if only to juxtapose the less fast-paced lifestyle of the dude.

Yesterday I watched Van Helsing starring Wolverine from the X Men and Faromir from the Lord of the Rings Movies. I didn't expect much, so I enjoyed it a lot. It wasn't one of those films wankers in black turtlenecks would chat about in a $35/glass wine bar in some part of town I might drive through but not hang out in. Before I rented it I knew it was going to be good because of the number of imitator movies also on the shelf "Dracula vs VAN HELSING", "Van Helsing in Transylvania", you know the cheap cheap cheap knock off movies made somewhere in Eastern Europe starring some guy with a wopper of an Italian name. "Lord of the Sword: The Three Towers. Starring Guiseppe Angelo Carabellinissio as Frodichi Baggianni" You get the idea.

Later on I started watching the 9th Gate with Johnny Depp (see he is a big star so I actually know his Christian Name and don't refer to him as Scissorhands or Hunter S.Thompson). I missed the first10 or so minutes, but it was easy enough to get caught up with the story. It was on TV, so there were no toilet breaks for the first hour and then one toilet break every 5 minutes for the second. My wife kept changing it to figure skating, which is useless, so I got to see a bit of that too. 9th gate was actually pretty good. Basically, Johnny Depp smokes a lot of lucky strike unfiltered in Paris looking for books about witchcraft and Satan. It would've been better if Kubrick had directed it as it did have some similar elements. Sorry, but over the last couple of weeks I've had this big hard-on for Kubrick movies and, in my own Kubrick style, been showing his films in history class. Of course the kids don't get a lot of it because they are still stupid, but someday they'll come across the film again, understand it, remember seeing it years before and wonder why the great Dr.L would show it to them. If only one of them realizes I am yelling "Wake the fuck up, you fuck up!" from the past, it's mission accomplished.

Lebowskiesque Life Long Learning. The 4 Ls, not to be confused with the 3 Rs, which they would do instantly.

Today's agenda is to write the final history exams for my charges. I came up with a great question that is going to throw them all for a loop : "Please draw what you think happened in Africa when the Italians used Mustard Gas on the Ethiopians" It is a lot easier to mark artwork than to read the shitty hand writing of students. The bonus question is "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" None of this matters because the whole thing is farcical to begin with. All marks are monkeyed with so that the absolute lowest score anyone will get is 75%. I have a kid in one of my classes who has come to school once since New Year and the department head said his father called and we have to give him 85%. I gave him a 100. I'd give him 110, but that might be a bit suspicious.