It was allllll a dream

Almost a month between posts. Why? Well, just before I was to leave to Canada, I slipped into a coma and just came to about 2 days ago. But the coma wasn't that bad. I dreamt that I went home and watched hockey for 5 hours a night while eating food that didn't taste like soy sauce. It seemed so real, but it was all a dream. When I regained conciousness, I was surrounded by a race of genetically altered cell phone email addicts who all have the ability to get in my fucking way.

Dog Shit Circus

Bienvenue a la Cirque de Merde des Cheins. I am almost contemplating flying all the way around the Earth to move home rather than give these fumeurs des gros noir coques another dime of mine. Bienvenue a mon finger de centre.

Not this year

I saw these guys in my coma. Once live, too. A mere shadow of what they were a few years ago. They need to clone Tucker.

All's Quiet on the Employment Front.

While in a coma, I must have astrally projected myself to my email account, because I got an email from the HR department of a company in Cow Town. What kind of company? That shit is Top Secret, but needless to say I imagine it will only be about a month before I can get a half decent job and pick up some new skills (magic skills, nunchuk skills, horse taming skills) I might even take my new car off some sweet jumps.

In summation....

I hope everyone had a nice holiday and didn't gain too much weight. Nothing that a bit of colonic irrigation won't fix.