Tripartite Rant

What has happened to the Leafs?

My goodness the Leafs have decided to collectively suck the big one as of late. In their most recent ass-to-mouth disaster, they lost to a team that has gone on the record as saying they know they won't make the playoffs. I am sure all the hockey news in the GTA is full of armchair coaching, so I am pretty sure anything I have to say on the matter has been said before. Is it any coincidence that the Leafs tend to really suck when there is a Conservative government in power? Do you remember the 80s?

The Erection

Champ E, the real-live man behind the Illuminati, asked for my take on the election. He probably wants it so he can put it in my file and sell the info to the viagra people who have employees emailing me around the clock. Well, here we go. Harper looks set to win. But it won't make a big difference seeing as the Senate, which for the non Canadian readers is our House of Lords appointed by Quebec lawyers, is full of central Canadian swine and the bureaucracy is full of central Canadian swine too stupid to get a job that requires them to do anything other than fuck things up. So what will happen? There will be a night of "Hooray!!" and then the non elected rulers of Canada will pull their strings, fuck everyone around and make the common man suffer for abandoning their patrons. I mean, how dare they? Ungrateful rabble. I hope Hargrove is right and that Harper is a seperatist so we can finally get the Canadien elite out of our fucking business. Let's face it, they love the cock.

The Japanese Economy

This doesn't really matter to anyone in Canuckistan, but there is this guy here named Horie that the media blew a big wad over. This guy had gotten himself wound up in the very fibre of the economy here and led it around by the nose for months. He was the model of the new Japan's economy; young, enthusiastic, global. He was going to take on the 60 year old suits and lead Japan into a new era of economic strength. Anyway, turns out buddy lied about having something like $1.5 billion, and with that non-existant $1.5 billion tried to float a big ass loan to buy some other companies. This all led to the Nikkei having to shut down as everyone was trying to dump all kinds of stock. His companies have all been suspended. Oh, well. Fuck him. He's a dick.

What a goddamn shit show.