Canadian Federal Politics: A Big Joke

The news over the past few weeks as to the political situation in Ottawa has been interesting to say the least. The oppostion is chomping at the bit to put our Liberal masters out of their misery only to have it become a full blown circus...dominated by ass-clowns.

The way I understand it, and attempt to correct me if you disagree, is that the Liberals are spending their last few moments in power to organise themselves for the upcoming election. They've spent the the last little while trying to bribe Canadians with their own money and curry favour with the NDP. Somehow, the comments coming from Liberal MPs that the government is operating "normally" isn't as far fetched as one might think. (Bribing taxpayers with their own dough taking the advice of closet communists). It will only be a matter of time before the Red Machine's Truth Division, based in Montreal of course, hits the ground telling everyone about healthcare, Harper's hidden agenda, the threat to national "unity" and a bunch of other crapola that has been around since the 90s.

Here are my opinions on those three points which I anticipate the Liberals will try to use to regain their hold on the government.

Healthcare

A little Socialism goes a longway. I am totally 100% behind government healthcare. If I break my arm, have a heartattack or get the flu the fact that I can waltz into a hospital or clinic and get everything sorted out is fine by me. Paying a $50 user fee per month isn't the end of the world. I disagree with the idea that $50 hurts poor Canadians more. I think having jobs outsourced to foreign countries, self-destructive unions, no NHL, $10 smokes, Liquor store strikes, taxation on everything hurts poor Canadians more than anything else (15% sales tax when you go shoping for anything?! Get Fucked!). I would rather pay $50/month for healthcare than shitty cable service, but nobody has any qualms about writing a cheque to Rogers on a monthly basis to have shit pumped directly into their living rooms.

Harper's Hidden Agenda

Gimme a break. Do they honestly think that if elected Harper would all of a sudden turn Canada into some Nazi state? Wake up. Not only would such an event destroy any kind of relationship Canada has built with other nations, but the backlash domestically would be too great and the government would be out on its ass faster than taxpayers cash is given to Liberal hacks illegally in Montreal. If Harper does have a hidden agenda, I hope part of it would be to get a personality and maybe a better haricut.

National Unity

The Liberals don't seem to grasp the concept that the 19th century boundaries of Canada have changed and that Canada isn't just the stetch of the 401 from Windsor to Quebec City. Quebec is lost, and they lost it. In the West, especially in Alberta, seperatist sentiments are definitely on the rise. Why? Alienation, perhaps? How would you feel if you went to dinner with 12 people, had to pick up half of the bill and then listen about what an asshole you are? How wrong you are? How stupid you are? How "backward" you are? No thanks. If the present situation continues, Alberta will split and probably take Saskatchewan with it.

It is ironic that voters in Ontario really want Quebec to stay but don't give a shit if Alberta leaves. Will their tune change after their taxes skyrocket to make up for the lack of dough contributed by Alberta post seperation? No. Why? They're morons.

I can only imagine the blame the Liberals will be spouting after the fact. Fortunatley, Albertans really won't give a shit what they say. They'll be too busy running the richest and best country in the world. Full stop.

Basically, the Liberals have shot themselves in both feet. They can continue on with the charade that they are in control and are running the country well, but the fact remains that two regions of the country are ready to go their own way. Let's face it, Canada is Ontario and Montreal to them.

On a side, the last time I was in Toronto, a couple of times when people asked where I was from, or found out that I claim Alberta as my home, they instantly distanced themselves from engaging with me. Everything was cool until I said "Alberta"or they discovered that that is where I am from. Even if someone is from the States, they get that chilly response from wait staff or people they might meet while in town. WTF?

The only thing that might save Canada, not just Upper and Lower Canada, is Ontario and Ontarians checking their egos for awhile and letting the rest of us in.

Okay, here is the challenge. If you can convince me why Alberta should stay in confederation I will buy you a pint of beer the next time I see you. No shit. If I can't refute what you say, I will buy you a beer...that is unless the federal government hasn't brought back prohibition by the time I get back.

C'mon Proles! Get typing!