I blame God

Less than 24 hours after the terrorist/freedom fighter attacks in London, every news channel I get here, CNN and BBC, dragged some guy onto the air to ask the most open ended question: Why?

Some blamed the terrorists, some blamed the States, some blamed poverty, some blamed Bob Geldof. Every one was ladelling out thick creamy bowls of blame. Mmmmmmm, blame.

I wish that someone had the foresight to bring Kurt Vonnegut out there and asked him. He probably would've just answered "why not?"

I blame God. Does it matter? I've been told, or should I say, taught that He is dead. I mean what kind of trickery is this anyway? Around 30 AD, He asks everyone in the Middle East if the birds need jobs and tells them to be righteous to one another and respect your brother like it was the first Bill and Ted movie, and then, wham-o, a couple hundred years later He has a change of heart and tells the people of that region to go out and kill the infidel. What gives?

Now, don't get me wrong here. Yes, I know I am an asshole, but at least I know enough to cheer for the home team. Wait a minute...do we have a home team anymore? Didn't it move to China, or somewhere? What was the name of the captain that one season? It was a Canadian name....Osama, or something. Regardless, why is the accepted message on either side of the Dardenelles so different? It came from Him, right? Eureka! I've figured it out! Besides me there are approximately 5,999,999,999 other assholes on the planet all going around thinking they're right.

I mean if we're going to play the "blame" game, I think we should blame the UN. If they had let Stormin' Norman go to Baghdad in '91, a lot of this could've been avoided. But wait. We should blame the UK for its foreign policy failure in the Middle East after World War II which created this geo-political state of affairs. Hold on, we should blame the Turks for choosing the wrong side in World War I and losing their grip on the Middle East. Wait a second, didn't the Turks conquer the Arabs way back in the Middle Ages, or "Mid Evil times", if you are a 13 year old idiot? We should blame them for losing the land to the Turks. This could go on, and on, and on.

Point is, shit happens and will continue to do so until the day God pops out from behind a cloud to say "Guess who's not dead?" and "Only Darth L gets the 72 virgins."

Score

I think of God as being a socialist. He gave us all the social programs we need: water, food, air, sun, night, vagina, weed. We're the ones who fucked it all up.

"Has the whole world gone crazy!!!!"