The Screw

Things here are moving along swimmingly. Last night at the Uni, the pools of saliva from the drooling students was getting a bit out of hand, so we had to add another 5 minutes to breaktime. I had an interview to teach a bunch of Engrish related tomfoolery and world history at another institution (An all girls reform school for juvenile deliquents/nymphomaniacs). I should know either tomorrow or on Monday what the word is. I don't want to be around myself if the word is "No". Buddy told me there were only 3 others who were being considered for the position. I suggested that he put us all in a last man standing match, maybe with a coal miner's glove, or barbed-wire ropes and exposed turnbuckles.

Fat Bastard. Parts Unknown.

I watched a few DVDs, or DBDs as they are referred to here. The Ladykillers by the Coen Brothers was great. I really enjoyed it. The General was the fucking limit. I also got Hellboy. I wasn't really familiar with Hellboy, but I did know that the comic existed. Now, after the horrible career ending Hulk and Daredevil movies, I thought "man, this might be really crappy." However, it was really good and enjoyable. I am looking forward to seeing the new Batman movie when it gets out on DVD too. I'm not going to pay $20 to see something that looks cool, but sucks upon further inspection. (Star Wars 2 pissed me off sooooo much)

When the fuck is there going to be some fucking hockey already?! For fuck sakes, now the players are saying they shouldn't have opposed the salary cap in February. Nice of you to all wake the fuck up, you whiney millionaire visor wearing fags! In the meantime, the corporation, who are equally assholesque, are changing some of the rules. Some of the rule changes are good (smaller goalie equipment, bow-uprights on the goal) and some of the rules are just ghey! In overtime they're going to have a shoot out. To quote a writer who thinks his " body was built for banging hot chicks and writing brilliant, insightful commentary on the world, not…(gasp!)…manual labour!", well fucking lah-dee-lah-lah. Why don't they just have a fucking baking contest at the end of the game? Or a needle point embrodiery exhibition? Spelling Bee anyone? Lame! Lame! Lame! Lame! Lame! I suggest a punch out at centre ice. If they want to make hockey awesome again, go back to the old school rules:

• No helmets or face masks.
• Goalies serve their own penalties.
• Bench clears are legal.

There is a lot of talk about opening the ice for the super stars to strut their stuff. Gordie Howe didn't need any of that shit. Neither did Rocket Richard. Neither did Bobby Clarke when he broke that Russian's leg in a face off in the summit series.

Now that Hockey is coming back, look forward to a bunch of shitty new uniforms to capture the fans imagination. Nothing is as good as this. Well, maybe this.

I am glad to see that the federal government is bending over backwards to help the flood victims in Alberta. If the floods were East of Winnipeg, HOLY FUCK!!!!, send the army, free up millions of dollars, suspend trading on the stock market, pass gay marriage legislation, call in the UN. No Liberal ridings, go fuck yourselves. It's okay though, I imagine the people in Alberta don't want the Feds help. That's what it's like when your independently minded.

I want to write about Bob Geldof, but look at the guy. I see homeless bums who look better than him. I hear homeless bums who make more sense than him when they open their mouths.

Well, those are the rants of today.